Hot Sauce

I had a friend reach out and ask me for some hot sauce recommendations because I’ve become known in some circles as “the hot sauce guy” who started curating a hot sauce collection after one time getting a $150 gift certificate to many moons ago and figuring I might as well spend it all at once.

Anyway, here’s some of my thoughts on hot sauces in case they help!

But before reading my dumb anecdotal takes, check out or for a whole lot more.

Hip and indie#


Encona is a west indian hot sauce from the UK. It’s hot and super flavorful. Would bathe in it if that weren’t asking for trouble.

You can buy it on Amazon but apparently can’t find it anywhere else!

Secret Aardvark#

This stuff is dank. Sweet. All that. Spicy, but not too hot.


La Diablesse#

Got this as a gift one time. Mustardy. Delicious. Decently spicy but not unbearable.

Pepper Palace

Hank Sauce#

These guys are from NJ, along with some other greats like Tony Soprano, myself, and the boss.

Hoff Sauce#

My team at work got a box of this somehow and gave it to me. Out of Chattanooga, TN. Really great, especially love the green hot sauce. Not too spicy but super delicious.


Mexico / South America#

Cholula is fine, but old news. There are some real baddies south of the border that even a piece of shit like Trump wouldn’t wanna lock in a cage upon entry.

Gonna rank these bad boys because why not.

1. El Yucateco#

Oh mama, the sweet sweet thick green goop that makes my heart sing and my insides bleed. How I love you so.

2. Tapatio#

Tio is spanish for uncle. Tapatio is spanish for delicious and not-too-spicy versatile hot sauce for putting on absolutely anything. A little smokier than the second best versatile mexican hot sauce, which is …

3. Valentina#

Valentina is all-around delicious, and I’ve spent many evenings alone with a bag of tortilla chips and Valentina constituting “dinner”.

4. Marie Sharp’s#

There are like 600 different flavors that Marie Sharp’s sells and they’re probably all good because I haven’t found one I don’t like. They range from palatable to way too hot.

Hot as balls#

If you wanna bring the pain, I support it.

Satan’s Blood#

If you plan to commit yourself to the spicy life, get yourself a bottle of Satan’s Blood pure chile extract. It is absolutely the upper limit on what the body is capable of handling, as far as I can tell.

How not to handle - don’t have a chili cook off at work, bring this in to flex on everyone, touch the bottle, go to the bathroom, show up to a meeting, then 5 minutes later feel your dick igniting in flames because you didn’t wash your hands before peeing.

Ghost pepper hot sauce#

There are a ton of ghost pepper hot sauces out there and they probably all taste the goddamn same, which is fuckin’ hot. Really bangs you up if you use enough and do it right.